Saturday, January 06, 2007

Achy Breaky Heart !!

Today in my very soppy, 'Wanna be in another-world' moods, I'm gonna write about one of my favorite movies -'Love Actually'.It's full of heart touching moments and comedy which blends in every scene.But more importantly its all about how real each of those situations seem.Whether its the British prime minister faling madly in love with the lady on his house staff or the Very married ad man having an affair with secretary or the writer who falls in love with the very foreign cleaning lady and can't even confess his love because they individually speak different languages.

But my favorite is the scene where a ten-year old is confessing his LOVE for his classmate to his step father.His father has been worried that the son is depressed over the recent death of his mother and is relieved.He tells his son he thought it was worse.His son looks at him in absolute pain and says" What could be worse than the absolute AGONY of being in love".

That look says it can be painful, it makes you cry when you're happy and laugh when you are much that sometimes you wanna rip your heart out to make the pain go away but Love Actually makes the world go around !!!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

This Too Shall Pass

I am going through a time in my life where I can no longer comprehend what is happening ? Its a feeling of complete numbness .. like I no longer have any control on what happens around me. . If you believe in destiny, you would probably say I ACTUALLY have no control but the feeling is terrible.

I have been an optimistic person most of my life ... except of course in those random incidents in life which leave you completely flabbergasted.But now I feel like I can't continue .. I can't smile so that the world thinks I am happy..I can't pretend anymore..

I don't even understand anymore why people say " This too shall pass " cause it doesn't seem too..

Sunday, August 27, 2006

In a Heartbeat

Ever wondered how you feel when you meet Mr.Right ? Does your heart stop beating ? Or your palms turn sweaty and you go weak-kneed ?Does a bell ring in your ears ?

I am not sure if any of these happen, but I know that I'd want to spend as much time as I have with the person, and not feel like running away every time he spoke ...?

And, that is exactly how I am feeling !!? Like running away ...
I've have been introduced to someone through my parents and I've met him twice..he is not a bad person,in fact, he's really polite , very thoughtful etc.

But I know he is not the correct person for me and I know it...My parents are seeing that he is well settled, he meets the base criteria ( ? ) and his parents seem like nice people ( We haven't met them yet ).

It could be because, I see myself becoming a totally different person to make him happy ( he comes from a vegetarian family, I'll have to give up my my jeans, maybe !), but its more than that..I feel no chemistry..its like a blank wall and it drives me crazy..I can't tell my parents this right now, but I don't see myself spending the next 50 or so years of my life with him.

I just don't know what to do ...

Thursday, May 18, 2006


Please Apply

A typical conversation with a prospective groom

Him : What kind of a role are you into at work ?
Me :I am working with an IT company
Him :What are your hobbies ?
Me : I like reading quite a bit, watch a lot of movies...What about you ?
Him : I like opera, paragliding, bungee jumping ( and everything else he assumes makes him look ULTRA COOL !
Me : That's great ! How many times have you bungee-jumped ?
Him : Errrr.. Never, but I plan to soon.
( And now for the BIG ONE !)

Ok, this seems like an everyday ordinary conversation. But, I have never understood why I am always subjected to the " Do You Party " question ?I agree that I don't conform to the usual dress code for a prospective bride-groom meeting preceding an arranged marriage.I am comfortable in my denims and I want the man I marry to know that.But does that make me a "party girl"?

Don't get me wrong here .. I have nothing against people who enjoy partying..Its the stereotype that hurts.Just because I dress a certain way or I take care of the way my make-up does looks, does not mean I am out there every night swigging a Bacardi?
And does it really help that I might say No just to keep you happy and then party every night once we are married !

Try to figure out who I am beyond the clothes I wear..See if you can be someone who'll understand my hopes and dreams, what makes me the person I am, what hurts me and makes me cry, what lights up my day ? Will I be someone you can wake up next to for the rest of your life ? And, I promise you,I'll do the same.

"All I ask of you is to take me as I am..
This may mean you'll have to be a STRONGER man ...."

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Beautiful in My Eyes

I found the lyrics to one of my favorite Bon Jovi songs !
Its called UGLY and I abolutely love each line cause it makes so much sense.

There are times when I have wondered if I would be strong enough to end my life.Days when I don't want to get out of bed. But I realize that is not an option.Its not easy getting over a broken heart, a betrayal by a loved one, the end of a cherished dream. But we need to move on...its not easy, memories keep coming back, but a friend once advised me to feel the hurt because it heals and the pain gradually may not go away immediately but very slowly ( and surely !) life seems better and the world doesn't seem as ugly as it did a few days, weeks or months back ...

If you're ugly, I'm ugly too
In your eyes the sky's a different blue
If you could see yourself like others do
You'd wish you were as beautiful as you, yeah

And I wish I was a camera sometimes
So I could take your picture with my mind
Put it in a frame for you to see
How beautiful you really are to me

Ugly, ugly
All of us just feel like that some days
Ain't no rainbow in the sky, when you feel U.G.L.Y.
And that's ugly, yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah

Ugly, ugly
All of us just feel like that some days
Ain't no rainbow in the sky, when you feel U.G.L.Y.
And that's ugly, ugly
All of us just feel like that some days
Ain't no cure that you can buy
When you feel U.G.L.Y.
And that's ugly

So if you're ugly, I'm ugly too
If you're a nut, then I must be a screw
If you could see yourself the way I do
You'd wish you were as beautiful as you, yeah
I wish I was as beautiful as you

Saturday, May 13, 2006

In Her Shoes

I was watching an Oprah show a few days back where she interviewed a lady who had been with her boyfriend for eight years inspite of him beating her up on a regular basis. Her mother moved in with them and then came a day when the boyfriend in a jealous rage shot the mother dead and blew the lady's face. How she survived is a miracle. Her face will never look the same again and her life is altered forever.

As far as I remember, whenever we ( my friends and I spoke about an abusive relationships) we were actually shocked as to why any woman in the right frame of mind would put up with it. The media is bringing out more cases everyday of celebrities who have stayed in abusive relationships and done nothing about it. Aren't these women who have the power and the money to kick out an abusive partner? Then why don't they ?

Its not as simple as it seems. In most abusive relationships; whether the form is physical or mental, walking out is not easy. Possibly because as women we have a high threshhold of forgiving people especially partners. Its always" He'll change " or " He cares for me " or " He didn't mean it " or " He'll never do it again". What we don't realize is that the first time anyone hits you or speaks in inexcusable language, " He will NOT change ","He MEANT to do it" and " HE WILL DO IT AGAIN ".Its given him a sense of power over another human being. And as you tumble deeper into a deep chasm of despair you gradually lose your ability to fight back.

I am not sure what the best way to handle such a situation would be except to walk out the first time it happens. You cannot be responsible for changing such a person. Leave him before it becomes worse. Walk out,talk to friends,get help, go to a counselor but don't stay.

Anyone who can say " I LOVE YOU " and then use foul language to address you,never really did !
Anyone, who can say " I LOVE YOU " and then mock in you in the company of others, never really did !
Anyone who can say " I Love YOU " and make you lose you self-esteem,your friends and your family, never really did !
Anyone, who can say " I LOVE YOU " and then raise his hand to strike you, NEVER REALLY DID !

Friday, May 12, 2006

From This Day On..!

So, I was out for lunch yesterday with a couple of office friends and the topic that came up was " Would you rather be single and unhappy or married and unhappy ? One of my friends very matter of factly put it as " If its not an abusive relationship , I'd rather be unhappy in a marriage ".

Is it so important for us to be married ?I completely believe in the institution and I want it for myself. My only qualm is why getting married becomes the be-all and end-all of our existence the minute we turn 25 ?Why is it that the entire assortment of aunts and uncles at every marriage function, colony meeting and every other conceivable get-together ask you just the same few questions:

Q. Are you working ?
A.Yes, I am.
Q.How old are you ?
Q.( with a slight raising of the eyebrow which can be caught only by the trained eye ) Aren't you MARRIED ?
A.No(Sheepish smile when I actually feel like saying the reason I am not is because I have tiny devil horns that pop-out every night)
Q.OoooooH! But you are such a pretty girl?I am sure you are hiding someone ? ( looking at my mother ) I am sure she has a boyfriend at work !
( Me thinking - Yeah right!- like I would want to hide that !!)

All I am saying is that instead of a rush -rush into something that is so important give us the time to understand who we are, what we want and what makes us happy.What kind of person would make us feel like our lives mean something.Who would I like to share my dreams with ?

So when I say I DO ! I mean it for the rest of my life.